"So... what's your availability look like for the next month?"
Quote from: deanwebb on August 15, 2018, 11:07:30 AM
"So... what's your availability look like for the next month?"
Dreaded answer
Let me check my calendar....
"So....do we really need these firewalls?"
"Why is the network slow?"
"Can you please check the network for drops?"
"Can you please do the needful?"
"We're trying to close out the project before end-of-month. Can you put together the HLD and the LLD?"
..and the ever so classic...
Is the Internet is down? :think:
Quote from: ristau5741 on August 16, 2018, 06:56:37 AM
..and the ever so classic...
Is the Internet is down? :think:
:facepalm1: :ivan: :facepalm2: :facepalm3: :facepalm4: :caine: :rick: <-- The entire network team when they hear that question
3 words: network is slow
bonus if zero corroborating evidence
usually ~70% chance nothing to do with network and is mis-behaving app / server / storage stack OR the network behaving within spec (e.g. 10M circuit with 500 users maxing it out, geeze so what black magic do you want me to perform?)
The worst I ever had was a week long 'war room' related to a double digit million dollar SAP rollout where 'network is slow'. After a week, they magically optimised some SQL queries and it was all good. Double bonus: they never did a baseline previous to going live, so there really was no objective way to measure what the expected performance was supposed to be. And yes this is a multimillion dollar project (they hired an entire floor of people just for it). Maybe, just maybe, the zero issues with VOIP or any other app was a dead giveaway... along with slow performance even when midnight and all links at 20% or less....
If you're in Ops and you want a good legit deflection (after doing your quick checks OFC), just ask them "What's the expected baseline performance as measured?", get the blank stares, then follow with "So what defines fast and what defines slow"?
QuoteIf you're in Ops and you want a good legit deflection (after doing your quick checks OFC), just ask them "What's the expected baseline performance as measured?", get the blank stares, then follow with "So what defines fast and what defines slow"?
BRILLIANT.
:applause:
There should be a $3000 course, where all network and developers attend, where Wintermute steps up to the podium, says these words, then sits down.
Everyone will then realize that to be able to hear that wisdom for only $3000 was a BARGAIN.
And we heard it here for free, gents.
LOL thx
Its so obvious when you think about it and paid any attention at all in high schools science - might not work for a 'normal' app e.g. your regular AD stuff that normally 'just works' but esp for new deployments - make sure they baseline the damned thing before going into prod. Otherwise it will be you explaining TCP theory to people (even better, bandwidth delay product - this is esp fun for satellite links)
Oh, mercy me... I hate having to explain to developers that the laws of physics still apply to their cross-continent transaction speeds...
:developers:
When coming from a Jr member of the team: "All I did was enable the trunk port and immediately lost access to everything"
"What's the rollback plan?"
Quote from: Nerm on August 18, 2018, 09:04:57 PM
When coming from a Jr member of the team: "All I did was enable the trunk port and immediately lost access to everything"
LOL or the variant
A: 'I just allowed another VLAN on the trunk port'......
B: 'did you use the keyword add'.....
A: 'what are you talking about'
B: 'its ok we've all done it before.... once....'
This is one of those things I have NO IDEA WHY CISCO HAS NOT FIXED IN 10+ YEARS
Quote from: wintermute000 on August 18, 2018, 11:14:16 PM
Quote from: Nerm on August 18, 2018, 09:04:57 PM
When coming from a Jr member of the team: "All I did was enable the trunk port and immediately lost access to everything"
LOL or the variant
A: 'I just allowed another VLAN on the trunk port'......
B: 'did you use the keyword add'.....
A: 'what are you talking about'
B: 'its ok we've all done it before.... once....'
This is one of those things I have NO IDEA WHY CISCO HAS NOT FIXED IN 10+ YEARS
My favorate storry for that is we had a guy join the network team that had a computer tech background and didn't know networking at all and I was training him. He knew the basic commands we used to fix stuff, but he didn't understand what they did: so he knew we used "show cdp neighbor", "switchport trunk allowed vlan [ had to be reminded about add alot] #", "show spanning tree vlan #", etc, but whould say the command while looking at me to see if it was the right one for the issue we were working on. This wasn't going to make him useful in the long run. The job had LOTS of construction going on at all times, at that particular time there was a closet that was totally unused due to construction. I had someone put in a ticket to move a port to another VLAN that wasn't on the switch. Long story short I let him take down the closet. His look of panic was great, in about 2 min I told him that the closet wasn't used, but that panic was the best teacher the he could ever have. He learned what each command did, and eventally left for a job that didn't pay shit.
Yeah, if he was a learner, that panic would have taught him all he needed to know to survive with the big kids.
"Do you know anything about printers?"
"you're good with computers, right?"
Quote from: config t on September 13, 2018, 04:08:05 AM
"Do you know anything about printers?"
WINNER <i'm getting PTSD flashbacks already>
"can you help me with my iphone?"
^^^ All of the above are making my head spin.
As for printers...
:printer:
"Are you available to work this Sunday's outage?" Eye twitching!
"I know you don't work in (X) anymore, but can you help the new guy with some questions?"
:curly:
In my org "can you help [name here] with [some new thing]". Normally means "can you figure all this stuff out and explain it to [name here]"
Quote from: Dieselboy on September 19, 2018, 09:42:38 PM
In my org "can you help [name here] with [some new thing]". Normally means "can you figure all this stuff out and explain it to [name here]"
Thanks for the flashbacks. I had a job once where my desk was closest to the door in the network control center. Higher ups (or any of his buddies) would often circumvent the helpdesk by calling or emailing the boss about whatever stupid thing they were having a problem with, so he would come over to the office, and guess who was the first person he saw when he walked in the door?
Cube/desk placement is critical. You want all the L1/L2 guys near doors and main corridors between cubes. They serve as blockers and early warning alarms for the L3/engineers/architects sitting deeper in the cube farm layout.
He had to walk past the service desk to get to our office. Nothing stops a man hungry for promotion and willing to kiss some booty.
"The last admin we had wasn't very good..."
I asked this question to our Chief Architect:
Quote from: dieselboyI was wondering if you could show me the design where you explain the following items:
- dns resolution for east-west traffic is to be the same DNS that is used by client traffic
And he said:
Quotewhat do you mean by east-west traffic?
🙈
East-West traffic: the cars you encounter while driving from New York to LA, or vice versa. :smug: