Networking in the Media

[icecream-guy]

watching it now...

i like the screen pouring output..

first guy "its' all green code"
other guy "oh oh, red code"

and the red code says "releasing malware now"

..  lol


no haxor in their right mind would announce such directly in the code...


off to wathc more funnies....

[deanwebb]

That's how an IPS works. It searches for the string "malware" in the packet and then SHUTS IT DOWN.

[wintermute000]

what about the first transformers where they're 'listening' to the 'hacking' and say things like 'sounds like Chinese code' or something to that effect. I LOLed

[deanwebb]

I still get a chuckle whenever I recall the episode of Burn Notice where he had to pose as a hacker.

[deanwebb]

 

CSI: Cyber Episode 2

The opening is SO CYBER!!!!!!!!1111!!!!!one!!!!!eleven~!!@@!!!!@~~`1!@!!!!!!

So, her box got hacked and the worst that happened was a patient of hers got murdered? Dude, I know a guy who went to LA that got murdered... I don't see the causality, there. So, anyhoo, that was such a cyber opening. She is obviously using parts of the Internet we can only dream about... aaaaand scene open on an amusement park.

OH NO does somebody haxxor the controls on a ride, for to MURDER someone?

We see a guy with a scale model of a park, and now he's controlling it with his smartphone? Well, called it before I saw it... murder... from CYBER stuff. Why the guy had to build a scale model to do his thing, I don't know. You can get pretty much the same effect from a CAD drawing, and it doesn't leave any physical evidence. While he's at it, I'm pretty sure he could have used a PC to send the code. Most PCs can run a console session to whatever's running the ride and issue commands, assuming he's got root.

Now we switch to LilBowWow, who is somehow a hacker, whose boss wakes him up by setting off his car alarm. WORST. BOSS. EVER. Not cool, not cool at all. Worse, boss lady has somehow gotten her smartphone to run BowWow's car alarm. Isn't that theft or something? Harassment? And all he complains of is that she's messed with her car? If he's got a dim and shady past, he'd be all up ons about his rights being violated and all that. Who writes this script?

Back to the office... loads of natural light, but nobody's sweating bullets. Odd, since I hear no AC sounds, in or out of the comm rooms. Also, seems like they still don't have sufficient light where the computer screens are... MY WORD THAT IS A LOT OF COMPUTER SCREENS. And all the monitors on all the desks (looks like they got some desks since last week) don't seem to be connected to any computers, and they don't look like they have computers built into them... in other words, they're either dumb terminals or props. The only wires seem to be phone cables, power lines for the monitors, and... wow, that is so not a place of hackers. Not nearly enough cables there.

Well, the guy with a tie says it didn't break in any other way, so it's gotta be TEH CYBER that caused the murder. I guess we gotta solve it with cyber stuff. So we get to see that CAD file with flashy lights on the diagram.

WAIT A MINUTE: ALL THE COMPUTER FAILSAFES COULDN'T FAIL ON THEIR OWN? Hahahaha, let me show you the last 30 years of computing history, I think we can find cases where complete systems failed when a cable got cut. Happened just a few months ago in my company when a guy with a backhoe severed a fiber link. Guys with backhoes... those are the REAL hackers you want to apprehend, my friend! There are also things called "program crashes", perhaps you've heard of them? For the lady to say that's not possible just shows to me that there ain't no experts involved in this script writing process. But do let us continue, assuming for the moment that, indeed, this is not possible without OMG HAX being involved.

And now we watch a phone video for evidence? Not cyber, my friends. It's just film footage. Yes, it is more prevalent, but no, it's not cyber enough for my tastes. Anyway, the ONE victim was getting a proposal. What do you want to bet the guy proposing is connected to the murder? That, or he's the rival of the murderer. Either way, he's a person of interest. As the cyber globe spins and we zoom in on the cyber map centered on the cyber crime, I'm deep down hoping that someone checks the audit logs on the software, gets the IP address of the system that logged on to make the change, trace it back to some ISP in Richmond, and then bust in on a kid studying the Tracer-Tee video to learn how to be a hacker. Tougher would be if the change was done from an IP within the amusement park, as then one would have to see who logged in to the device that launched the SSH to the control system. I mean, they *do* have their devices locked down with RADIUS or TACACS+, right? Right? Because that creates an audit trail, you know... anyway, that's the real world version of how this gets solved. I wonder how much more CYBER! the solution tonight will be...

Interrogating witnesses in surround cam makes me dizzy as hell. Stand still and cut it out. That's not cyber, anyway. It's hack camera work. And that was to take the place of footage of the boss lady reading reports? How about save a few seconds and have her walk up to someone else and say, "I read the reports. Nasty stuff, amirite or amirite?" Also, those geeks on the show should be making WAY more Monty Python references. Just sayin. Well, more people died, that's sad for them. But why aren't they getting forensics off the computers? One good thing: pointing out that physical proximity is not necessary for TEH 1337 h4x. Thank you for pointing that out, but I hope that it doesn't backfire and cause bosses around the world to slash their physical security budgets. Because, FYI, physical proximity can make hacking a whole helluva lot easier, especially if you can boot a device to ROMMON...

OK, there's a kid that wants to get something from the scene... he's obviously more important than looking at the audit log for the control system. Ah! It's the loverboy! Wait a minute, why aren't they asking him questions? Maybe he knows something or someone! NO DON'T CUT TO THE OPENING MONTAGE! Oh well, too late now...

Back to the show... why is bearded hacker not already got his RJ45 plugged in? Bad form. And why is he doing PC work in the middle of a bunch of dead bodies? And he's investigating a crash... WHICH MAKES WHAT BOSS LADY SAID EARILER A COMPLETE LIE! How does he respect himself, working for those numpties? OK, so bearded hacker shows that the system is receiving a stream of false information, that there's no reason to engage brakes or whatever.

Wait a minute... there's a DECISION to engage brakes? How about there's a step in the program to engage brakes? That way, there's no chance to have logic circuits fail... you know, with false sensor data...

LilBowWow tells us he heard dame rumor say it was a matter of time before someone hacked the amusement park, but bearded hacker says that it was IMPOSSIBLE because the system wasn't connected to the Internet or to any system that was connected to the Internet. So I guess it must have been Old Man Mungus dressed up as a troll to scare people off so he could buy the park for cheap to get the oil under it and he would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those two kids, two adults, a person with a canine-sounding name that all travel in a van together... ZOMGWTFBBQ THIS IS A SCOOBY DOO EPISODE RIPOFF!

Well, about TIME they check the audit logs... No missing cards? Use a card scanner. Check, they figured that out, too. Man but I can't get enough of the cyber screen dissolves. Well, now we know a former employee, let's send the jackbooted feds around his house... WAIT IT WAS THE GUY I TOLD YOU TO CORRAL BEFORE THE OPENING CREDITS! YOU SIMPS! YOU DOPES! YOU PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR COPS! YOU LET THE PERP ***WALK*** That's it, you idiots... no more classic rock for your opening montages for a week!

Let's interrogate the guy in the same poorly-lit interrogation room that all the CSI departments favor. Seriously, all the money they spend on monitors, it's a wonder that they have budget left for any light at all.

Hey, wait, boss lady just said this guy was innocent? OK, he was innocent... or a total sociopath. No hunches, please? Let's use evidence, mmmkay?

Evidence like the radio stuck in the control system. That's interesting. So how did the radio get stuck in there in the first place without setting off a monitoring alarm that goes off when the system power goes down when there's a hardware change? Or did the guy take a very real risk of shorting out the entire box by shoving in a card while it was powered up? And now the bearded hacker opens up his sandwich in a cleanish room environment and then merrily jacks with the nearby elevator, courtesy of his hopped up smartphone.

This is how you get fired, kids. Don't ever try this at work. If you jack with an elevator with a hopped up smartphone, you will be fired and you will likely face criminal prosecution. It's bad enough if you do that to a production system. When you risk the integrity of the building physical plant, you endanger lives. How do you know that the control you just snuck in won't lead to a short that causes a critical failure in the elevator shaft, leading to a severe injury for someone when it takes a 2-foot fall before the autosave features kick in? Totally not cool, bearded hacker, and you're fired. Good help may be hard to find, but we can still keep looking until we find it.

Because boss lady has no natural boss-like reactions in the presence of bearded hacker, though, he keeps his job, even though he gives a line about how any 9-year-old with a Raspberry Pi computer can wreak havoc on the world. If that was the case, beardy, there would be a lot more mayhem in the world. A LOT. I don't know how much longer I can watch this... anyway, now we have a remote haxxor again. And, somehow, the perp had to have been someone that WANTED to see the mayhem because of the short range of the radio... why not a guy that planted another device within 60' of the radio that itself was able to receive commands from over the Internet? Seems more likely... and pretty easy to hide... and why isn't this perpetrator putting as much distance between himself and the crime scene? Like on a plane to Mexico?

DNA evidence from a PC card? Really? OK, then... and the hacker girl is apparently another enslaved former bad guy, like Lil BowWow. I don't like this justification of soft totalitarianism. But we learn now that the perp is an informant... so does the guy running the investigation hand him over and blow his own investigation for three murders? He does if he's forced to! So the cops but some poor stereotypical hacker in a really badly lit room with at least enough wires to justify his being a geek.

And now Lil BowWow gets his first assignment worthy of his FNG (Friggin' New Guy) status: He has to be the one to troll the gorepr0n forums to find evidence. BAHAHAHAHAHAHA better you than me, sucker! He tries to make excuses, but boss lady tells him otherwise: get off your can and start burning out your eyes with things you will never unsee, boy, or I will put you back in the chokey!

But wait, he's *smiling* as he does this? Eeeeeewwwww! And as he tries to log on, he gets "username taken" errors with skulls and crossbones? Are there so many people on the site that all the good usernames are taken? Like LilBowWow and LilBowWow1 and LilBowWow2015 and Lil_Bow_Wow? Wow, maybe this site isn't as exclusive and xenophobic as you made it out to be, FNG hacker... I mean, after all, they don't even have a paywall or a "the site admins will review your account application" message.

But he gets his account, and all is well, right? All is really well because apparently the site admins decided to install the "match a picture via polygon analysis" mod. Are you serious? Why not just do that on Google images? And why is it that the guy that posted it is going to be the killer or at least directly connected to the killer? Wouldn't something like this "go viral?" Because I know that going viral is TOTALLY CYBER!!!!!@@!!!~!~!``1211!!! I mean, wouldn't this kind of stuff be all over 4chan in a matter of seconds?

Well, the next scene shows the curly haired boss casting doubt on FNG's ability to get on a "deep web" forum in only a few hours. Given that the "deep web" is basically made up of unindexed pages, either FNG gets down with some really kinky stuff in his off-hours and just happened to be able to make this kink pay out for work, or the deep web forum was actually linked somewhere that gets indexed and, therefore, is not really part of the deep web. Sure, the site itself can have spiders turned off and all, but if someone can find it in a Google search for "gorepr0n", it ain't all that deep. Pages that can only be seen by logged-in members, by the way, aren't really deep web content. They're private site content.

But then, the fact that FNG can do a search on the content there probably means that curly has no clue how shallow that site is. If it's searchable, it ain't deep content, end of story. The fact that we now find out there is a public and a private part of this horrific forum puts the final nail in the coffin of the deep web business. Deep web stuff is *all* private. And if the video got posted *to* the site, I gotta call major major BS. I am not about to host video on my site, at all. I don't have the web space and, frankly, I don't want guys like the perp in this tale to post crap like what he did in this case. Who's hosting this video that also allows hot linking? And why is anyone caring about this video, when ISIS is putting out so much quality snuff video?

Well, the perp didn't get in with the roller coaster, so he posts that he's gonna crash a subway. Well, that means DC is in trouble, as it has a subway. So now, clean cut hacker says we need to find the MAC address of the bluetooth device that the perp used and then BLOXXOR IT! Well, that's easy. Just put a lot of USB 3.0 hubs near critical devices in the subway, so as to interfere with the bluetooth transmissions. We just saved the world!

No, wait, they're going to use a scanner while all the FBI agents crowd around the chat window and get their jollies... ewww! But, they find out it's in Boston, and in 3 hours. Which train? NOT SO FAST GUMSHOES! The FOR REALS gorepr0n admins sussed you out and gave you a blue screen of death... and you're using WINDOWS 95?

WINDOWS 95, are you kidding me? You got the fatal error 0E at 0028:C00228448 error message? I used to support Win95 and saw that all the time! Here's the KB on that error: http://support.microsoft.com/kb/189655 . You got the wrong version of Norton Antivirus running, my friend. The wrong version of Norton. I take it back, you didn't get that from the site admins. You did that to yourself because you blew all your budget on monitors and forgot to upgrade your Windows to a version that's not end-of-life.

Lady boss then makes her totally accurate predictions about our scumbag perp and I'm going to bet that our heroes will be in Boston in three hours to stop the subway from crashing. The bad guy is already there, so time is of the essence!

How they get to Boston inside of 3 hours is beyond me. That's not cyber, that's just fake.

And why do they have to *be* there? Isn't there an FBI office in Boston? Haven't these guys heard of telephones? You know, the *other* network that connects everyone together? Why isn't this CSI: Telephone, as the agents track down the darker side of Alexander Graham Bell's invention, back in the 1890s? Plot holes abound, like zeroes in their budget for slick monitors... well, I'll write that show later because the yellow line train is on the hot rails to hell, it seems. It won't stop and, apparently, nobody can cut power to that 3rd rail or anything sensible like that. Calling the operator would be good, since he can do stuff to regulate the train speed, such as applying brakes and what-not.

And how is tearing through the streets in black SUVs going to save the day? And how is typing like mad on a PC somehow connected to a 3G network going to save the day? How in the hell did they hack into the Boston subway system in order to save it? Is it *that* wide open? We're talking default usernames and passwords open... with zero latency, no less. On a 3G connection. That somehow remains connected in spite of tower handoff that HAS to be involving layer 3 roaming after a few blocks...

And those streets the SUVs are careening down? They are SO not in Boston. I counted a grand total of zero potholes and I think I saw a few dwarf palms. California, much? Maybe the palms were plastic, but no potholes? Nobody double-parked? Getouddaheah. That ain't no Boston.

Nice product placement: the crappy Jeep Cherokee gets in the way of the FORD! SUV!. Welcome to tonight's episode of CSI: Payin' Them Bills!

"I stopped the train!" Wait, what? Bearded hacker did it just like that? Cool. "You've got to get those people off that train!" So cleancut hacker and FNG have to run down there? Aren't there any transit cops that can assist? The system's in a state of shutdown, so they ought to have been alerted... and there are still people in the station that have to be almost run over by cleancut and FNG? SHOULD NOT THEY HAVE BEEN EVACUATED? What kind of sick world is this where people can just toy with elevators and shutting down a subway does not involve an evacuation? Welcome to tonight's episode of CSI: Plot Holes!

OH NOES THE TRAIN STARTS TO MOVE AGAIN! Seems like bearded hacker couldn't work wonders, after all. Well, now it's up to cleancut to save the day. He tries to pull the stop cord. JUST BRILLIANT, DUDE. He then has to Tom Cruise it and lean outside the train to pull off the evil computer with a coat hanger and the cord he mentioned at the start. AND HE PUNCHES THE COMPUTER TO WIN! YES! I have always wanted to punch a computer in order to win.

Boss lady uses her superduperpsychology powers to suss out the bad guy and it's all over. Except it's not so very cyber to solve a crime with wild guesses. Just sayin.

LilBowWow FNG now complains about doing paperwork and bearded hacker says it's a necessary evil... and that the murderer "might do a lot of time." I'm not buying that. This is death penalty stuff. Perky lady hacker with almost no lines makes an offer to get pizza and beardy complains about a phone on vibrate. SO not realistic. The phone you complain about is the one with the damned ring tone running full blast all the time. You want to take a hammer to that and PUNCH THE COMPUTER TO WIN! See, that would have been a great ending. Instead, we have to endure witless banter. FNG walks away and leaves his cell phone on the table after beardy complained about it. We close with a shot of beardy answering the phone... what we don't see is beardy signing him up for spam and sending rude texts to everyone he works with.