It's a Network Thing... They Don't Understand...

Started by deanwebb, January 04, 2015, 07:42:03 PM

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deanwebb

It's not that they're idiots... they're just not as well-informed about networking as I am...

People that call in to say that they can't get an application to work, then blank out when I ask for the IP address of the server... but still expect me to solve the problem, and then never mind their reaction when I ask them what TCP ports are involved in the communication!

This thread is for venting. I find that it helps to deal with problems by venting about them. Then I don't have to shout at the end-users. Feel free to add your vents, as they come to you.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

vito_corleone

Oooh, I have enough material to keep this thread chugging for months.

mynd

Quote from: vito_corleone on January 04, 2015, 09:13:07 PM
Oooh, I have enough material to keep this thread chugging for months.
oh oh  :excited: let's hear it  :drama:

Ironman

Got a call this morning, turns out we had a circuit down hard and no back up for this particular site. About an hour later I get another call from the "trusted" server guys. Their complaint was that their servers are saying that they lost connection to the corp NTP server. . . . . I wanted to throw the phone across the room. I had to explain to them (AGAIN) that since their circuit is down that their connections to HQ and the Internet will be down.  :matrix:

Bit_Jockey

Quote from: Ironman on January 04, 2015, 10:12:26 PM
Got a call this morning, turns out we had a circuit down hard and no back up for this particular site. About an hour later I get another call from the "trusted" server guys. Their complaint was that their servers are saying that they lost connection to the corp NTP server. . . . . I wanted to throw the phone across the room. I had to explain to them (AGAIN) that since their circuit is down that their connections to HQ and the Internet will be down.  :matrix:

I've seen that dog and pony show before.  Half of me wants to string them along an ask them a bunch of basic questions like, are you able to check your email?  Can you get to any website on the internet?  Maybe its a DNS issue, are you able to ping by IP address, try 127.0.0.1?  Then the other (superior) half of me remembers that *most* techs are a bunch of derps and it's better for my health to lie, and tell them I've opened a ticket.

vito_corleone

Quote from: mynd on January 04, 2015, 09:32:15 PM
Quote from: vito_corleone on January 04, 2015, 09:13:07 PM
Oooh, I have enough material to keep this thread chugging for months.
oh oh  :excited: let's hear it  :drama:

Most of mine are generic customer-related things. Like:

Why can't you have these 7Ks (which haven't shipped yet) deployed in 5 days?!
We need that obscure new feature! Why are you hesitant to deploy the newest .0 code release!?
I need to maintain 100% uptime while you replace every piece of our hardware during this massive core/DC migration!!!

I'll try to think of specific stories I can post without having to worry about someone stumbling across it at some point.

deanwebb

Gotta love the demands for 100% uptime, no matter what. Or 99.9999% uptime, which is even more annoying. Have an outage with 100% uptime and, oh well, won't make that goal this year... while we're at it, though...

Outage with 99.9999% uptime means you have exactly 17.4 seconds to resolve the outage before the ticket starts escalating. No fun at all.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

Atrum

My favorite is when a client says "Is there ANY chance that this will bring the network down" when we're troubleshooting an issue that had their device randomly crashing.

Seittit

Management: "We are spending almost 50k a year in our network monitor solution, can we go a year without it?"


Seittit

Quote from: Atrum on January 05, 2015, 10:24:40 AM

*unrelated sidenote @Atrum: FFIX will be remembered as when Squaresoft began their decent into releasing crap games*

Atrum

Quote from: Seittit on January 05, 2015, 10:50:03 AM
Quote from: Atrum on January 05, 2015, 10:24:40 AM

*unrelated sidenote @Atrum: FFIX will be remembered as when Squaresoft began their decent into releasing crap games*

Ha! I played VII VIII and IX a whole lot. IX was the last for me that really felt like FF. X was OK. I bought X-2, loaded it up and was greeted by a singing pop band Yuna... <sigh>

Ironman

Here's a question I heard on a podcast recently. What group of IT ppl are the worst? (Networking (no way), Security, VoIP, Server, Desktop etc. ? Thoughts?

deanwebb

Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

Ironman

Yea, Devs are pretty tough. Server guys always seem to throw me off. I've come across some pretty shaky VOIP folks as well.

vito_corleone

Quote from: Ironman on January 05, 2015, 03:43:05 PM
Here's a question I heard on a podcast recently. What group of IT ppl are the worst? (Networking (no way), Security, VoIP, Server, Desktop etc. ? Thoughts?

Man, that's tough. I'd agree with Devs. I'd also say security guys (:P). Not necessarily network security guys, but the CISSP types who use a bunch of buzzwords and have zero clue how things really work.