impossible job opportunities

Started by icecream-guy, March 24, 2015, 03:54:38 PM

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deanwebb

#60
May 30, 2017, 05:50:39 PM
Do all that work, but don't apply if you're all hung up about bread, man?

What, do they just want ex-cons and meth bikers to apply?

:haha2:
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

wintermute000

#61
May 31, 2017, 06:00:34 AM
"Rogues have one foot in reality.... but nonetheless, led by their dreams" of working their butts off in a thankless hospitality environment for well under 50k. ROFL

deanwebb

#62
May 31, 2017, 06:38:01 AM
I was looking over one job req yesterday that described the company as having "a warrior culture".

:yeahright:

Note to the guys that write these things... We're looking for networking jobs, not another RPG group.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

SofaKing

#63
May 31, 2017, 08:54:48 AM
Quote from: deanwebb on May 31, 2017, 06:38:01 AM
I was looking over one job req yesterday that described the company as having "a warrior culture".

So in this "warrior culture"... if a developer is being stupid can I correct him with a shiv made out of a old switch mounting bracket?  Could be a good thing.
Networking -  You can talk about us but you can't talk without us!

Otanx

#64
May 31, 2017, 09:01:40 AM
Quote from: SofaKing on May 31, 2017, 08:54:48 AM
Quote from: deanwebb on May 31, 2017, 06:38:01 AM
I was looking over one job req yesterday that described the company as having "a warrior culture".

So in this "warrior culture"... if a developer is being stupid can I correct him with a shiv made out of a old switch mounting bracket?  Could be a good thing.

A shiv is more of a rogue weapon. You should apply for the job mlan posted. A real warrior would use a two handed broad sword to decapitate a developer that forgot a closing }.

-Otanx

deanwebb

#65
May 31, 2017, 10:43:58 AM
Otanx is right on the money.

Just now looked at one that had a section titled, "Here's How You'll Kick Ass".

That, and the part that said "no cubes" were big red flags. It went on to say how the job, although "network security" was the title of it, was actually also application and IoT security, basically a huge laundry list that, I presume, the self-starting, motivated employee would just love to get into, regardless of the overall pay scale. I read that over and, well...

:disappoint:
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

Otanx

#66
May 31, 2017, 02:17:44 PM
no cubes means everyone has their own office right?

-Otanx

deanwebb

#67
May 31, 2017, 02:45:32 PM
Quote from: Otanx on May 31, 2017, 02:17:44 PM
no cubes means everyone has their own office right?

-Otanx


At the very least, I would think so. Unless they have a "no toothpaste" policy and mis-typed "no tubes."

Meanwhile, here's one where the numbers literally don't add up:

Quote
At least six ( 8 ) years of Network Engineering experience is required.

At least two ( 4 ) years of solid experience implementing network monitoring solutions in a large scale enterprise environment.

:facepalm4:
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

Otanx

#68
May 31, 2017, 08:06:15 PM
Those don't add up because it is multiplication not addition.

Code Select

6(8) = 48 years
2(4) = 8 years


-Otanx

icecream-guy

#69
June 01, 2017, 07:10:58 AM
Quote from: deanwebb on May 31, 2017, 02:45:32 PM
Quote from: Otanx on May 31, 2017, 02:17:44 PM
no cubes means everyone has their own office right?

-Otanx


At the very least, I would think so.

Probably one of those group collaboration open area office spaces with no walls and large tables everyone can sit around.
:professorcat:

My Moral Fibers have been cut.

deanwebb

#70
June 01, 2017, 11:49:18 AM
Quote from: ristau5741 on June 01, 2017, 07:10:58 AM
Quote from: deanwebb on May 31, 2017, 02:45:32 PM
Quote from: Otanx on May 31, 2017, 02:17:44 PM
no cubes means everyone has their own office right?

-Otanx


At the very least, I would think so.

Probably one of those group collaboration open area office spaces with no walls and large tables everyone can sit around.


It's for the "warrior culture" place, so maybe they all just work in a big old crossfit box with all the gear stacked up on assemble-it-yourself metal shelving.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

Fbranca

#71
December 13, 2018, 03:43:04 PM
Hi all,

I am new to the site and am trying to connect with professionals in the networking field for a possible job opening. Full details on the site and anyone can email me for particulars at Florencia_branca@nihonkohden.com

Any recommendations on where to connect would be much appreciated! Feel free to share the link! 

http://nihonkohden.hrmdirect.com/employment/job-opening.php?req=849055&&

Who needs a new job!!!!??

deanwebb

#72
December 14, 2018, 09:25:18 AM
Quote from: Fbranca on December 13, 2018, 03:43:04 PM
Hi all,

I am new to the site and am trying to connect with professionals in the networking field for a possible job opening. Full details on the site and anyone can email me for particulars at Florencia_branca@nihonkohden.com

Any recommendations on where to connect would be much appreciated! Feel free to share the link! 

http://nihonkohden.hrmdirect.com/employment/job-opening.php?req=849055&&

Who needs a new job!!!!??


You realize, of course, you're posting in an "impossible job opportunity" thread? So now we need to examine the application... :problem?:

I have to say that the actual description of the role - documentation, design, setting up a network - is very straightforward and clear.

But the requirements for the role? Why is a college degree needed? This role is all networking, with some writing.

But the big howler is the 10+ years of experience thing. This is a role for someone with 2-4 years of experience, not 10.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

DesertFox

#74
January 31, 2019, 01:17:25 AM
Cisco Certified Internetwork Expert (CCIE) certificate required
CompTIA networking certifications preferred

Call me an idiot but didn't compTIA networking certificate is a really required for Desktop support that didn't touch the LAN cable? Not at all. Don't even think of touching it...
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