INTERNET-MAN!

Started by deanwebb, October 21, 2018, 10:02:01 AM

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deanwebb

October 21, 2018, 10:02:01 AM
OK, imagine a superhero whose superpower is being able to move through the Internet! Cyber-speeds!

Now, what are all the problems he might have in actualizing that superpower. Add one with each post, feel free to comment and/or build off of previous limitations.

My first limitation is that it requires a fat client on a workstation at each terminus. And the clients talk to each other via telnet, so make sure that hole is open on the firewall...  :smug:
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

icecream-guy

#1
October 22, 2018, 06:30:14 AM
He gets really long and stretched over 56Kb lines
:professorcat:

My Moral Fibers have been cut.

deanwebb

#2
October 22, 2018, 07:22:52 AM
There are also QOS issues, particularly when passing through devices that do not respect the "do not fragment" bit.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

dlots

#3
October 23, 2018, 08:06:24 AM
If a firewall kills his traffic he actally dies??  Nah to limiting.
I'll make it that he can bypass firewalls just by jumping out of the outside wire and jumping into the inside wire.

dlots

#4
October 23, 2018, 08:08:01 AM
when his traffic is cloned he is cloned, so there are not thousands of him running around.  Some have gone evil.  He is litterly his own worst enemy.

deanwebb

#5
October 23, 2018, 10:24:44 AM
You can capture him in a spanning-tree loop.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

icecream-guy

#6
October 23, 2018, 11:35:05 AM
If he's coming in router A interface Gi0
I can policy route his left arm out Gi1 to Router B
and policy route his right arm out Gi2 to Router B
then he can grab the evil villain that lurks on Router B

:professorcat:

My Moral Fibers have been cut.

deanwebb

#7
October 23, 2018, 11:54:21 AM
You can limit his powers drastically by setting the MTU to 768.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

Nerm

#8
October 23, 2018, 12:30:49 PM
His arch enemy is BACKHOE-MAN.

deanwebb

#9
October 23, 2018, 12:42:22 PM
Quote from: Nerm on October 23, 2018, 12:30:49 PM
His arch enemy is BACKHOE-MAN.

OOOOOOOOHHHHH! Had not considered his arch-enemies. Good call.

"I'll never talk, Backhoe-Man!"

"I don't expect you to *talk*, Internet-Man! I expect your TTL to expire! Muhuhahahahahaha!"
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

dlots

#10
October 24, 2018, 08:03:17 AM
Hmmm 2 arch villians
Blackhole man and backhoe man.  One fwarts him in RL, the other in VR.

icecream-guy

#11
October 24, 2018, 11:13:05 AM
Internet-Man's biggest weakness is Null0
:professorcat:

My Moral Fibers have been cut.

deanwebb

#12
October 24, 2018, 08:42:17 PM
If a firewall is blocking him via IPv4, Internet-Man uses his mysterious powers of IPv6 to bypass the firewall!

Unless the firewall is also blocking IPv6...
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

SimonV

#13
October 25, 2018, 02:44:06 AM
He's armed with keypairs and tunnels himself across tcp/443. He truly is the original Man-in-the-Middle.

deanwebb

#14
October 25, 2018, 02:57:35 PM
In issue #37, he meets up with an ancient civilization based on IPX-SPX.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.
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