impossible jobs

Started by icecream-guy, January 19, 2020, 06:45:47 AM

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icecream-guy

Here is another one of those jobs, where they want everything, but nothing specific.


This Senior Network Engineer will be responsible for the network infrastructure design and management across multiple sites and data
centers. This will require a strong knowledge of network architecture, network monitoring, network security, and emerging technologies.
This organization is growing so the ideal candidate will understand how to build scalable and resilient networks.Responsibilities and
Duties:•Design, implement, and support WAN, LAN, and WLAN environment. This includes routers, firewalls, security, wireless, and
WAN/LAN switching.•Manage load balancing (including DNS/DHCP/IP).•Provide remote access solution support (VPN, Terminal
Services).•Perform remote monitoring and management of system alerts and notifications.•Run application performance and packet
analysis.•Work with emerging technologies such as SD-WAN or Data Center products.•Manage vendors; perform network assessments
and security audits.•Support internal run and maintain activities, including remote monitoring and management system, respond to alerts,
monitor health and seek improvement opportunities.•Mentor and coach entry level team members; continuously develop your skills and
knowledge.•Research, evaluate, design and deploy new technologies.

:professorcat:

My Moral Fibers have been cut.

config t

Sounds like a lot of hours.. I bet it's salary too.
:matrix:

Please don't mistake my experience for intelligence.

deanwebb

Translation: Small company with three locations desperately needs a do-it-all engineer that will be managing junior team members, but who will not be paid or titled as a manager.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

wintermute000

yeah smells like that doesn't it.  These ask for every technology descriptions usually means they have 1 shitty ancient device of every type.

deanwebb

Quote from: wintermute000 on January 24, 2020, 06:00:55 AM
yeah smells like that doesn't it.  These ask for every technology descriptions usually means they have 1 shitty ancient device of every type.

Quoted for your daily recommended allowance of truth.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

Dieselboy

Quote from: wintermute000 on January 24, 2020, 06:00:55 AM
yeah smells like that doesn't it.  These ask for every technology descriptions usually means they have 1 shitty ancient device of every type.

Government dept. job. Avoid like the coronavirus.

config t

#6
TLDR: You will be the..
Network Engineer
Network Admin (WAN/LAN)
Network Security Admin (FW/IDS/IPS)
Inside/Outside Plant technician
COMSEC custodian
Information Assurance technician
And anything else they decide to throw at you

Duties and Responsibilities (to include but not be limited to the following):
-Manage, operate, and maintain the physical networks including, but not limited to, Class/Unclass, all Coalition and Exercise networks, commercial Internet, telephone systems (as required), Video Teleconferencing (VTC) systems, and the badge access system.
-Implement network upgrades, system software patching, and security compliance in accordance with Maintenance Task Orders, Information Assurance Vulnerability Management, Instructions, and policies.
-Support required analysis, design, and other acquisition activities related to the networks.
-Perform field engineering activities in accordance with project or exercise plans and designs, including but not limited to: Operate and maintain all exercise networks and permanent party networks and systems.
-Perform activities such as network monitoring (using available network monitoring tools), providing operating system and other software upgrades for network devices, and performing preventative and corrective maintenance on selected network equipment.
-Provide on-the-job training to personnel in network operations and maintenance activities.
-Configure all switches and routers into nodes for monitoring and troubleshooting.
-Perform data captures of network traffic during exercises.
-Perform system configuration and start up configuration backups of all network equipment.
-Push out network-wide switch configuration changes. Perform network vulnerability scans.
-Compile and run compliance policy reports.
-Configure switches to direct all network traffic data to be captured in Net Flow.
-Perform daily network checks of key network switches and routers to include: physical equipment checks; configuration and installation of switches and routers on all networks in their proper rack location; proper labeling of all network equipment for easy identification and troubleshooting; inventory of switches and routers with Cisco Smartnet; keeping switches and routers up-to-date with latest IOS software to prevent vulnerabilities; troubleshooting all network equipment when connectivity is lost or not operating at full capacity; ensuring all aspects of switch capabilities are configured and operational (e.g., Multicast, Virtual Local Area Networks, Secure Shell); and configuration of all switches on all networks for uniformity and strong passwords. Maintain all fiber and copper cables in a uniform manner, including: labeling cable for identification and troubleshooting; running fiber between buildings to establish network connectivity for all devices on all networks; installing, maintaining, and repairing fiber patches and panels; troubleshooting fiber when network connectivity is lost, intermittent, or not optimal; terminating network cables used at all layers on all networks; and maintaining and installing network infrastructure for exercise and permanent party on all networks.
-Maintain a central management point of control for troubleshooting and monitoring encryption devices; maintain cut sheets with TACLANE configurations for troubleshooting; manage, maintain and operate all encryption devices on all networks; ensure all encryption keys are properly maintained, updated and disposed of in accordance with Communications Security requirements; and troubleshoot encryption devices when network connectivity is lost or when physical layer is not present.
-Prepare networks for exercises, including but not limited to: adding routes to and from participating partners on corresponding networks; testing networks and network capabilities prior to start of an event; performing data captures of network traffic flow for participants; and ensuring capability and data integrity exists for multiple simultaneous events.
-Configure and administer network devices; install, maintain and operate VTC Systems; install, maintain and operate audio/visual (A/V) requirements for exercise participants; troubleshoot A/V and VTC Systems; and optimize all A/V Systems in accordance with policies and procedures.
-Maintain firewall and Intrusion Detection Systems.
-Configure and implement approved PPS rules to support events and exercises.
-Monitor and troubleshoot applicable firewall rules to facilitate successful event execution.
-Coordinate with event planners, network management personnel, and end users to ensure firewall rules are functioning properly.
-Install and update system configurations based on applicable security guidelines.
-Other duties as assigned.
:matrix:

Please don't mistake my experience for intelligence.

icecream-guy

"maintain cut sheets with TACLANE configurations for troubleshooting;"
C:-)  :o  -- shaking head.....  make sure you keep a hard copy of the configs that protect the most secret and sensitive data that you have.
:professorcat:

My Moral Fibers have been cut.

Otanx

Was that job at Nellis AFB? It sounds like my old job.

-Otanx

SimonV

Permanent party networks - sounds like a dream job  :cheers:

Otanx

Quote from: ristau5741 on February 24, 2020, 06:35:46 AM
"maintain cut sheets with TACLANE configurations for troubleshooting;"
C:-)  :o  -- shaking head.....  make sure you keep a hard copy of the configs that protect the most secret and sensitive data that you have.

I don't really have a problem with that as long as the data is protected correctly. If your KG dies you will need those configs to rebuild. My favorite part is in the same bullet point.

Quote
... and troubleshoot encryption devices when network connectivity is lost or when physical layer is not present.

Me: Hey, boss! I found the problem. Someone stole the cable plant. Do you want me to keep troubleshooting this encryption device?
Boss: Of course I do. It is in your job description isn't it?

-Otanx

deanwebb

"Other duties as assigned" == anything else we may have forgotten that involves a wire.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

config t

#12
Quote from: Otanx on February 25, 2020, 09:15:14 AM
Quote from: ristau5741 on February 24, 2020, 06:35:46 AM
"maintain cut sheets with TACLANE configurations for troubleshooting;"
C:-)  :o  -- shaking head.....  make sure you keep a hard copy of the configs that protect the most secret and sensitive data that you have.

I don't really have a problem with that as long as the data is protected correctly. If your KG dies you will need those configs to rebuild. My favorite part is in the same bullet point.

Quote
... and troubleshoot encryption devices when network connectivity is lost or when physical layer is not present.

Me: Hey, boss! I found the problem. Someone stole the cable plant. Do you want me to keep troubleshooting this encryption device?
Boss: Of course I do. It is in your job description isn't it?

-Otanx


Other duties as assigned..

Write each encrypted packet on a scrap of paper and deliver via carrier pigeon.
:matrix:

Please don't mistake my experience for intelligence.