Implementation of RFC 1149

Started by deanwebb, April 01, 2016, 11:36:56 AM

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deanwebb

April 01, 2016, 11:36:56 AM
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/April_Fools%27_Day_Request_for_Comments had some fun stuff relative to today, but then I saw this...

http://www.blug.linux.no/rfc1149/

"11 years ago, April 1st 1990, rfc 1149 was written. This rfc specifies a protocol for IP over avian carriers, CPIP (carrier pigeon internet protocol). In 11 years, noone has bothered to implement this important protocol stack. But happily, we don't need to wait any longer! BLUG in cooperation with Vesta Brevdueforening has given you rfc 1149 support for Linux."

:zomgwtfbbq: :rofl:

LOG OF THE PING SESSION
Code Select
Script started on Sat Apr 28 11:24:09 2001
vegard@gyversalen:~$ /sbin/ifconfig tun0
tun0      Link encap:Point-to-Point Protocol 
          inet addr:10.0.3.2  P-t-P:10.0.3.1  Mask:255.255.255.255
          UP POINTOPOINT RUNNING NOARP MULTICAST  MTU:150  Metric:1
          RX packets:1 errors:0 dropped:0 overruns:0 frame:0
          TX packets:2 errors:0 dropped:0 overruns:0 carrier:0
          collisions:0
          RX bytes:88 (88.0 b)  TX bytes:168 (168.0 b)

vegard@gyversalen:~$ ping -i 900 10.0.3.1
PING 10.0.3.1 (10.0.3.1): 56 data bytes
64 bytes from 10.0.3.1: icmp_seq=0 ttl=255 time=6165731.1 ms
64 bytes from 10.0.3.1: icmp_seq=4 ttl=255 time=3211900.8 ms
64 bytes from 10.0.3.1: icmp_seq=2 ttl=255 time=5124922.8 ms
64 bytes from 10.0.3.1: icmp_seq=1 ttl=255 time=6388671.9 ms

--- 10.0.3.1 ping statistics ---
9 packets transmitted, 4 packets received, 55% packet loss
round-trip min/avg/max = 3211900.8/5222806.6/6388671.9 ms
vegard@gyversalen:~$ exit

Script done on Sat Apr 28 14:14:28 2001

:haha2:
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

deanwebb

#2
April 02, 2016, 09:08:04 AM
This is one reason why most networking/computer humor is better seen than stated. Such as:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Buffer overflow.
Buffer overflow who?
Code Select
080483be <main>:
   80483be:       8d 4c 24 04             lea    0x4(%esp),%ecx
   80483c2:       83 e4 f0                and    $0xfffffff0,%esp
   80483c5:       ff 71 fc                pushl  0xfffffffc(%ecx)
   80483c8:       55                      push   %ebp
   80483c9:       89 e5                   mov    %esp,%ebp
   80483cb:       51                      push   %ecx
   80483cc:       83 ec 04                sub    $0x4,%esp
   80483cf:       c7 04 24 bc 84 04 08    movl   $0x80484bc,(%esp)
   80483d6:       e8 f5 fe ff ff          call   80482d0 <puts@plt>
   80483db:       e8 c0 ff ff ff          call   80483a0 <doit>
   80483e0:       c7 04 24 cd 84 04 08    movl   $0x80484cd,(%esp)
   80483e7:       e8 e4 fe ff ff          call   80482d0 <puts@plt>
   80483ec:       b8 00 00 00 00          mov    $0x0,%eax
   80483f1:       83 c4 04                add    $0x4,%esp
   80483f4:       59                      pop    %ecx
   80483f5:       5d                      pop    %ebp
   80483f6:       8d 61 fc                lea    0xfffffffc(%ecx),%esp
   80483f9:       c3                      ret
   80483fa:       90                      nop
   80483fb:       90                      nop
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

scottsee

#3
April 09, 2016, 01:52:23 AM
I like the UDP one.

Knock knock
Who dare?
UDP
UDP who?

I never said it was funny. I just like it.
scott see

deanwebb

#4
April 09, 2016, 10:28:15 AM
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY ARP JOKES? PLEASE TELL 67.76.32.131.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

Dieselboy

#5
July 06, 2016, 03:05:55 AM
OP does the traffic actually go through an actual pidgeon or what? Just wondering why it takes over 70 days for an ICMP RTT.

BTW, the "threshold" for VOIP is 300ms RTT maximum, so this wouldn't be suitable for VOIP, FYI.

:partay:

icecream-guy

#6
July 06, 2016, 07:25:06 AM
HEY EVERYONE I HAVE A GRATUITOUS ARP JOKE!
:professorcat:

My Moral Fibers have been cut.

icecream-guy

#7
July 06, 2016, 07:26:10 AM
what does the network seal say??

ARP ARP
:professorcat:

My Moral Fibers have been cut.

deanwebb

#8
July 06, 2016, 07:42:06 AM
HOW TO DESTROY A KNOCK KNOCK JOKE WITH 802.1X

Knock knock
Who's there?
Banana
May I see your machine certificate?
Ummm... no, you're supposed to say "Banana who?"
RADIUS-Rejected
Hey, why am I in a tiny padded cell with a note that I need to download the latest antivirus patch before I log on to the guest network?
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.

Dieselboy

#9
July 06, 2016, 09:40:32 AM
You lot are crazy.

:zomgwtfbbq: :rofl:

Otanx

#10
July 06, 2016, 10:20:26 AM
IPv4 address walks into a bar. Says "Bartender! Give me a cider, I'm exhausted."

-Otanx

icecream-guy

#11
July 06, 2016, 11:11:26 AM
The worst thing about UDP jokes... you never know if someone "gets" them.
:professorcat:

My Moral Fibers have been cut.

Otanx

#12
July 06, 2016, 11:51:58 AM
Quote from: ristau5741 on July 06, 2016, 11:11:26 AM
The worst thing about UDP jokes... you never know if someone "gets" them.

As the sender of the UDP joke I don't care if anyone gets them either.

-Otanx

icecream-guy

#13
July 06, 2016, 01:53:55 PM
Quote from: Otanx on July 06, 2016, 11:51:58 AM
Quote from: ristau5741 on July 06, 2016, 11:11:26 AM
The worst thing about UDP jokes... you never know if someone "gets" them.

As the sender of the UDP joke I don't care if anyone gets them either.



That's as old as RFC #1
:professorcat:

My Moral Fibers have been cut.

deanwebb

#14
July 06, 2016, 08:42:59 PM
An IPv6 packet walks into a bar. Nobody pays any attention to it.
Take a baseball bat and trash all the routers, shout out "IT'S A NETWORK PROBLEM NOW, SUCKERS!" and then peel out of the parking lot in your Ferrari.
"The world could perish if people only worked on things that were easy to handle." -- Vladimir Savchenko
Вопросы есть? Вопросов нет! | BCEB: Belkin Certified Expert Baffler | "Plan B is Plan A with an element of panic." -- John Clarke
Accounting is architecture, remember that!
Air gaps are high-latency Internet connections.
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